EARTHQUAKE!!

WOW! We had an earthquake on Tuesday!! By the end of the day it went from a 5.8 to a 5.4 and those in the know called it "moderate." But boy, did we feel it!

I've been in SoCal for 12 years and this was the second, but worst one I've experienced. Thank God, no damage - not even a toppled book or bottle during either. "They" all keep saying we're way overdue for the "Big One!" YIKES!!

It's a very weird feeling... not really a shaking like you'd think. Sometimes it's a rolling feeling - like balancing on a board on a ball. Tuesday felt more like being in a boat on really choppy water... rocking and bumping. A few people got motion sickness. It only lasts a matter of seconds but it feels much longer and you're left feeling unsettled for quiet awhile.

I don't want to think about the "Big One" coming. Of late it's been a heavy concern of mine, has put my nerves on edge. Certainly the devastation an earthquake causes is never wanted. Quite shallowly and selfishly though, I don't want the Big One to hit because I've finally, after all these years, gotten my apartment set up the way I want and I LOVE IT. I know we can't hold onto material things but at the same time you certainly don't want to loose everything you've worked so hard for. I know, I know... I'm being silly.

I realize nowhere is ever completely safe from natural disaster or other destruction. With tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, blizzards, tsunami's, landslides... even fires - we are all due at sometime. No one is immune as many across our country are well aware. My heart goes out to them. The heartache and the knowledge of all the work ahead to rebuild is overwhelming. It's been a tough season for America the past several years, weather wise.

These events remind us that this life is truly a vapor and our material things are barely a stitch on the tapestries of our lives. We need to keep our focus off ourselves and onto the bigger picture. (It is unfortunate that often times it takes devastation to get our attention.)

And yet... quiet often the best of human nature is exhibited during tough times. It does remind us of what is truly important. It does force us to step out of our own little world and think of others. True community and long lasting friendships are built from experiencing tragedy together. Kindness, care and concern for your neighbor is displayed. "Love In Action" is in full force! Good can be found in even the worst of circumstances... and you know, all the material things are easily replaced.

Connecting?

I like to think of myself as technically savvy. I’ve started this blog and, yes, believe it or not, I’ve created a MySpace page and a Facebook page… But as I look around me, I’m so behind the times!

Today there is an endless stream of opportunities to “connect” with family, friends, co-workers, the community… even the WORLD! And not only can you connect 24/7 but you can do it instantaneously. We can even SEE each other, thanks to video chat. It’s truly amazing and fantastic! Finally we have the means and interest level to branch out and turn our focus to life beyond our own borders. It’s exciting to see young people connecting with people in other countries, becoming friends and learning about each others cultures. The impact is far reaching and amazing.

As a rookie who barely knows how to use these pages, even I’m thrilled to be able to connect with my nieces in Florida and see what they’re doing, who their friends are, how they look, what they’re interested in… It’s great to connect with old friends I’ve not talked to since college… etc. etc.

However, with every great advancement comes “side effects.” The negative impact of which may take years to manifest. I guess in a way, it’s a basic law of creation – there is an opposite of everything: positive/negative; light/dark; good/evil. More often than not, you can’t have one without the other. Depending on your view, that can be a good thing or bad thing. That being said, with all the good this hyper-connection allows us I wonder… are we REALLY connecting?

Certainly we are on a basic level, but we’re doing it hidden away in our homes or offices. We’re not connecting with our senses – touch, smell, sight, hearing, and even taste. We miss the nuances of the voice, the facial expression, gestures, and the non-verbal communication when we’re not physically present while interacting with others. All of which add the corporeal dimension of a story or conversation… all of which bring LIFE.

I’m a solitary type - I enjoy being alone, doing my own thing. But I do need people. I do need physical interaction. Remember the 1959 Harlow study “Love in Infant Monkeys?” Those monkeys who were isolated from the others and without physical contact were fundamentally damaged and exhibited “disturbing behaviors.” The overwhelming conclusion? All living species NEED other like-living species to survive and function properly.

So again, for all the good, the internet, texting, IMing, Facebook and MySpace bring… in the long run, what will be the result? More and more we are isolating ourselves from basic human interaction. Today you can live – and live well – without ever leaving your home. In 10 – 20 years time, will we all develop “disturbing behavior” and be fundamentally damaged because we’ve unintentionally separated ourselves from other human contact?

"Moderation In all things" is a very wise philosophy. As we all enjoy and engage in connecting electronically, let's be diligent about getting out AMONGST the masses. Rub some elbows... give and get some hugs. Share a meal, throw a party... Just spend physical time interacting with people!

The Blahs

It's funny how you can feel “blah” when nothing much is going on in life. No big excitement. No big crisis. All is mundane… mediocre… regular. Everything is fine, but it’s still blah. If life is not a manic / depressive rollercoaster, we are apathetic and lethargic as if life were meaningless. WHY is that?

Why can’t we manage to enjoy contentment? In our Über-everything culture (instant this, fast-paced-heart-pounding that, have the best, look the best, be the best, celeb-obsessed) it’s no wonder we don’t know how to handle being content. We’ve forgotten what it looks like, what it feels like.

Contentment is on the brink of extinction – it is systematically being deleted from our vocabulary. There seems to be no such thing as “stopping to smell the roses” any longer. There’s no time to sit back, relax and enjoy life for fear we’ll lose something or miss the next big thing. So when the “blahs” hit, you’re sucked into the big black abyss and life is over. We have simply forgotten how make our minds and bodies STOP.

The Bible defines contentment as a state of mind in which one's desires are confined to his lot whatever it may be. It is opposed to envy, avarice, ambition, anxiety, and repining. It arises from the inward disposition, and is the offspring of humility, and of an intelligent consideration of the rectitude and benignity of divine providence, the greatness of the divine promises, and our own unworthiness; as well as from the view the gospel opens up to us of rest and peace hereafter.

Wow – that’s kind of scary! Certainly seems impossible. Has anyone achieved that?

Paul did. Paul fully grasped contentment and yet, one thing he did was to forget what lay behind, reached forward to what was ahead… and he continued to press on toward the goal. Again – WOW! If Paul can do it, then surely we have the ability to do it too.

I’m in the midst of the black abyss of blahs at the moment. I’ve been here many times before. And even with Paul’s words of encouragement and the definitions of contentment, I don’t have a quick fix to “snap out of it.” Focusing on all the blessings in my life is probably a good place to start. (From the largest blessings like family, friends, and work to the smallest - a good song, a scoop of Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream or a Starbucks Grande Mocha.)

Eventually I will manage to banish the blahs to a distant land. God is kind that way…allowing us our blah seasons. Maybe I should train myself to change my thinking and actually enjoy these “contented” times… There’s no crisis – that’s a great thing! There are no huge events or happenings swallowing up all my time and energy – another great thing! The blah-times do provide a chance to stop and smell the roses, notice the beautiful summer sunsets and enjoy the warm breeze.

Hmmm… maybe things aren’t so blah after all.

FYI: Definition of contentment: The state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind. Satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else. Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing. Desiring no more or no less than what one has; satisfied.

Going for the Best!

Pretty Woman told us to always go for the “best.” However, even with the pursuit of “living our best life;” grabbing the brass ring and our declared right to pursue life, liberty and happiness… the “Best” repeatedly eludes us. We believe our options are often limited in all aspects of our lives. So we settle. We vacillate between refusing to take less than the best and “picking the lesser of two evils.” We blame our circumstances; we blame “the man;” we even blame God when we discover that the “best” is hard to achieve. Or there’s a catch or negative consequence. If we’re lucky to get the best, it can be hard to maintain.

Yet more often than not WE are the ones to blame. We eliminate the best options available to us.

Acts 1:14-26 is the account of Peter and the Apostles choosing Matthias as Judas Iscariot’s replacement. Because of what Jesus had told them, it seemed to make perfect logical sense that a replacement was needed. After all, it’s not 11 Apostles – it’s 12. Peter took it upon himself to establish some criteria for the job of “Apostle” and picked 2 men out of the group as adequate choices – Matthias and Barsabbas. Once the two were chosen they prayed about it and asked God to confirm one of the candidates through the casting of lots. Matthias was the guy.

No one will know for sure who will be that 12th Apostle this side of Heaven. But many agree, as do I, that God had another man in mind for the job… Paul.

Looking at these verses again it struck me that Peter put God in a box. Because of his limited thinking – although perfectly logical and rational – he assumed that something had to be done right then. (We all know what “assume” means.) They established the rules, they chose the candidates and made God pick. Again, their actions made perfect sense. But, they didn’t see the whole picture. Their thinking was in fact limited. They didn’t know what God had planned concerning Paul.

I'm sure Matthias was a great guy, fully qualified for the job. Church history said he was influential for the kingdom and God did approve Him. However, he is NEVER mentioned again in God’s Word. Yet, God’s choice for Judas’ replacement - Paul - brought Christ to the Gentiles. Paul wrote the majority of the New Testament. Paul established churches all across the known world at that time. Seriously – where would we be if God didn’t call Paul?? It’s unthinkable.

How often do I limit God? I’m an intelligent, capable, rational and logical person. I’m a good problem solver. I know how to get things done in an efficient and successful manner. How often do I assess a situation, come up with a couple of options, and then present them to God to pick? I think because I give Him a selection that means I’m truly allowing “God’s will to be done.” But like Peter and the others, I don’t even have an inkling of the big picture. When I look at God's choice, Paul, he was infinitely beyond every other possibility. He was the absolute, hands down best choice. Far beyond what we could ever hope or imagine. THAT is what God wants to provide for us.

Why then do we continually limit God’s best? Why do we continually think we need to force God to answer?

Sure, Matthias was good… did a lot. And at the time Paul was known for killing Christians. Even if he was converted, I’m sure if Peter knew Paul was the guy – he’d have said “NO WAY!” It’s the same with many of our choices. They can be perfectly acceptable, good even. And considering the alternatives we would not choose, we too, would say “NO WAY.” But, oh… imagine our life if we allowed God to provide us with Paul’s instead of Matthias’.

It was humbling and frankly distressing to be reminded that more often than not, I put God in a box. It's painful to realize that I am the one who often hinders me from receiving the best for my life. I'm not a masochist, for Pete’s sake, my intentions are good. Even when looking at a situation where I believe I have no choice; I guess there always IS a choice. It’s just a matter of WHOSE choice I am willing to take… Whose choice I’m willing to WAIT for.

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.

Psalm 33:20
Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

Psalm 147:11
The Lord favors those who wait for Him, those who wait for His lovingkindness.

Lamenations 3:24
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

Life & Enduring Friendships

Close friendships are hard to maintain in our busy, transient lives these days. Life is hectic. You get to the end of a week and wonder where the time went – especially when you still have 20 things on your to-do list. Gone are the days of being born, growing up, having your own family and dying in the same town. Gone are the days of our kids being friends with the kids of our Elementary school friends - all growing up together. The trend is for adults to move every 5-6 years for work or a change. It’s kind of like being a military brat – you learn to make friends quickly and you’re lucky if a handful stick for life.

Don’t get me wrong; I could probably throw together a decent sized party… But I’m talking about friends who know you inside and out, whom you trust with your heart, who are there through thick and thin. Friends like that are hard to find.

My best friend “J-P” was in a nearby city this past week on a business trip. Even being 15 minutes away, we were only able to spend Sunday together and grab a quick dinner Tuesday night. We became instant friends in ’92; even roommates for several years both in Nashville and LA. Over breakfast Sunday, we realized that we’ve only seen each other twice since 1999. Twice in 10 years! The normal business of life and living in different states keeps us from spending time together in person. Although our phone conversations pick up right where we left off, even they are often few and far between.

My best friend from college is the same. We’ve seen each other maybe 4 times in the past 18 years… Again, normal lives, residing on opposite coasts, our work, her kids… coordinating life and finances have been a deterrent to actually spending physical time together.

It took several years in California before I finally met person I instantly clicked with… and within a year of becoming best buds she had a baby and moved with her family back to the Mid-West to be closer to the grandparents! Haven’t seen her in 2 years.

All of us – in our different cities have struggled to find best friends. “Why is that?” we wonder. We’re great women - caring, intelligent, attractive, involved in our communities and churches. Sure, we have families or busy careers that are not conducive to an abundance of free time or the ability to travel… and maybe we’re not quite the “social butterflies” we were in our 20’s, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make room for a good friend or two. We still want (and need) to have a friend to grab a cuppa joe with, or catch the latest chick-flick at the local theater. Someone to call on when we’ve got a flat tire or need help redecorating our kitchen. That perfect person to call when we just want to vent about our crazy boss or scream about being overrun with a house full of kids. That reliable pal who's able to drop everything, pick up a bottle of wine and takeout and come over so we don’t have to spend New Years alone.

Good friends are hard to find… and sometimes hard to nurture. With all of my best friends living far away, it’s heartbreaking to know that even though we’re only a phone call away and manage to pick up where we left off, the relationship has ever-so-slightly shifted because we’re no longer able to SEE each other.

It is with a deeply grateful heart that I thank God everyday for my friends – near and far!! He has blessed me beyond measure with each of them; has made me a better woman through them and they are friends for life. And yet… as humans we need that physical proximity – that face time in order to feel truly connected and not abandoned… People need people to thrive. “No man’s an island,” right?

It’s been a wonderful, reviving reunion with J-P. Although brief, we had the chance to do “normal” friend stuff – shopping, the prefect chick-flick, yummy food and enriching conversation. But it’s bittersweet… when will we be able to visit again?

Lord, answer our hearts cry for a best friend or two in our own city with whom we can grow and blossom. And, Lord, love on each of my friends – whichever city they’re in – and remind them of how much I love them and miss them. Remind us all of the importance of nurturing our friendships… Thank You for the precious gift of friends.