Missing My Old Life

Sometimes I wish I had never left Los Angeles or my life there. It was a good life. A blessed life.  I had a great apartment that I loved, a fun secure job in the entertainment biz that I've always been passionate about with some of the best co-workers who remain great close friends; the money was good w/full benefits. My sister lived 2 doors down in my building; the first time we’d lived “together” since she was 3 and we were able solidify as iron our bond as sisters and friends. I had the most amazing mentors/Bible study teachers who included and involved me in their ministry and I attended some wonderful churches. My friends were/are bonded to me for life… not to mention it was Los Angeles! Hollywood! Stars, sites, food, entertainment, beaches, snow, mountains, shopping, perfect weather year ‘round… San Diego to the south and San Fran to the north! It was certainly not without difficulties – I was profoundly lonely, I was literally across the country from my family with whom I am intricately bound, I went through a terrible accident and walked with my sister through 2 extremely difficult surgeries… Life in Los Angeles – the longest I had lived anywhere my entire existence – was a really good life.  I miss my adopted family there, my apartment, my job, my mentors & Bible Study – I miss California.

Yet at the same time, I can’t imagine my life being anywhere but here, right where it is now… struggling to stay afloat amongst so many unknowns and so many new experiences (surroundings, people, and culture) - in New England.  I’m still newly married (just 2 years down) and our entire relationship has been topsy-turvy… Finding each other as we enter middle age, dating began long distance (LA/Afghanistan then LA/KS then LA/Iraq). I moved to Kansas, and symptoms that began in Iraq became a full blown life changing injury. We married and the injury turned into disability that carried with it a myriad other medical issues & PTSD for my husband. Those in turn generated a 2 ½ year battle with surgery, doctors, new diagnosis, specialists, dealing with his Command and the bureaucracy of being medically retired from the military… Finally culminating in returning to his “home”… to his children here in New England.

I can see why the West was settled, as life in the middle of the country (Kansas) was HARD! And it was no different for me, for us.  But how surprising, yet typical of God to bring forth beauty in the mess.  In the midst of all the chaos and pain and struggle that surrounded us in Kansas, we were blessed beyond measure! We had a great apartment, I had a good job, with amazing co-workers… found a precious mentor, a wonderful church literally around the corner and my husband even attended with me for a short time. The pastor took us under his wing, extending friendship to my husband who’d never had that kind or friendship before… and two fantastic women became my lifeline. One who paved the way for my move to Kansas and encouraged me at just the right moments throughout my time there… the other was (and is) walking a very similar path with her husband and so we are sisters bonded in Christ and as battle buddies. She holds me up continuously and I am grateful. We had the Hill family who are our adopted family having gone through deployments together, births, weddings, vacations… My husband and I began our life together there, we were able to have the boys out to visit several times… we created a little garden oasis on our back patio… had favorite restaurants that delivered… Life was good in Kansas.  Life was blessed.  I miss life there, too.

A new chapter has begun now in New England… we’re getting settled… there are a lot of adjustments. I’m learning to be a full-time caregiver… my husband is learning to live with his new disabilities… learning to be husband/wife within these new roles & boundaries… my husband is re-adjusting to having his amazing boys in his life again and I’m learning to be around kids regularly and being a stepmother for the first time.  So much is still unknown… so much is still being tossed about in the blender of circumstance and we have a ways yet before the dust settles. Many unanswered questions remain yet, needs are being met, pieces are falling into place. We have a comfortable place to live… I hope to start a business from home… we love our time with the boys…I can't imagine life any other way. Life is good. Life is blessed.

The leaves are changing; the air is crisp… all the stunning colors of fall that New England is famous for are bursting onto the scene… God’s design never ceases to amaze and fascinate me! The seasons each year are a reflection of the seasons of life… not only as an entire life span, but even a reflection of a few years’ time.

The seasons are a living example of our lives right now… Kansas literally and figuratively took us through some arid, scorching hot, tornado prone summers, hard bitter cold winters yet sprinkled and drenched with moments of spring flowers... of new life. Our recent move to New England corresponds with fall – beautiful bursts of color and beauty mixed with all the unknowns and chaos, the dropping off of our old life; the dropping off of what was familiar and safe.  And we've got winter yet to endure… I'm prayerful that it will be a mild winter and not too bitter or harsh…

From time to time, I do miss my life in California, my life in Kansas and all the precious people and wonderful things I left behind…

But we are on the road… we are moving forward… we are together. Life is good. Life is blessed… Spring WILL be on the way!  Bringing with it new beginnings... new life!

• For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phillipians 1:5)
• Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)
• And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)
• Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
• You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock. (Isaiah 26:3-4)

It's Raining

It's been raining both literally and figuratively A LOT the last couple months... But even in the grumbling and complaining... even in the "if I had a preference... I choose sun" moments... I am GLAD for rain... for ALL the growth and healing and renewal it can bring... BE ENCOURAGED! ~~ Laurie

Do you like the rain? As I write this, the rain is pouring down. I've looked out the window for sightings of cats and dogs, but I've only seen raindrops!

We tend to not like rain very much. It gets in the way of our obsession with comfort. Rain gets in the way of the comfort of a dry day. Rain gets in the way of the comfort of nicely coiffed hair. Rain gets in the way of dry shoes and pressed clothes. It makes outdoor entertainment and activities difficult.

Few of us look out the window on a rainy day and say, "What a great day!" But that's exactly what God's people in the Old Testament did. When you're living in desert-like places, a rainy day is a good day.

In the Bible, rain is often used as a metaphor for blessing. The Bible talks about blessings raining down on us. Perhaps there's a connection between the way we tend to respond to rain and the way we tend to respond to blessing.

God blesses us in surprising ways, ways that don't always seem like blessing. He sends the rain of difficulty, not because He doesn't love us, but because He does, and He’s calling us beyond ourselves to find new and deeper hope in Him.  (emphasis mine)

He sends the rain of an honest friend to confront us with the need for growth, because He wants to bless us with maturity. He sends the rain of failure, so that we’ll get our identity from Him and not from our achievement. He sends the rain of want, so that we’ll grow in faith and courage. All of these things are blessings of His love, but we tend to not see them as blessings. In fact, in the moments when we’re experiencing these things we’re often tempted to question God's love.

How about looking out your window and thanking God for the rain. And how about asking Him to give you eyes to see the surprising blessings He’ll rain down on you because He loves you.

May God rain his blessings on you until you are sopping wet!

God bless

Paul David Tripp